LADIES & GENTLEMEN, PACK YOUR BONGS: SAUSAGE PARTY

Seth Rogen has gathered his usual gang of ripped-to-the-tits idiots (James Franco, Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Paul Rudd, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson et al), augmented it with some sketch comedy thoroughbreds (Kristen Wiig, Nick Kroll, Bill Hader), thrown in a dash of Hollywood royalty (Edward Norton, Salma Hayek) and come up with Sausage Party,the filthiest R-rated (well, MA15+ here in the hard as fuck Antipodes) animated comedy about anthropomorphised grocery items ever exposed to celluloid.

WHINE TIME: BAD MOMS

If you’ve ever been to a preview screening of a (ahem) chick flick, you’ll have borne witness to the sordid, desperately contrived vision of contemporary femininity that is evidently vigorously espoused in first semester Public Relations.

WARCRAFT: THE BEGINNING

I was once on this flight, right?

We were swooping in over the bay (disturbingly peaceful) with a banshee tail-wind, about ten knots into the red.

As our 737 bellied up to the runway, the pilot took violent evasive action.

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

visceral: adjective vis•cer•al \ˈvi-sə-rəl, ˈvis-rəl\

1 : felt in or as if in the internal organs of the body
 2 : dealing with crude or elemental emotions
 3 : of, relating to, or located on or among the viscera

Yeah, I’m the arsehole bringing the Webster’s to a Fury Road review.

UTTERLY WRETCHED: THE HUNTSMAN - WINTER'S WAR

You know, there was a time when a flick like The Huntsman: Winter’s War(directed by some poor man’s Alice In Wonderland spec Tim Burton) would have had me gleefully, lasciviously polishing up the ol’ Jones Bile Hammer, giddy with the prospect of laying into another turgid bilge-offering from the leaky khazi of mainstream Hollywood.

CRIMSON CATHOLIC HEAD KICKER: DAREDEVIL SEASON 2

And lo, Marvel’s crimson Catholic head-kicker returns to your streaming device* for a highly anticipated second season of angsty, claret-soaked pulp vigilantism.

Setting up shop squarely in The Dark Knight’s thematic bailiwick, season two is an exercise in escalation: melodrama ratcheted right up; bruising, head mashing violence ratcheted right up; meditations on crime and punishment to the fore.

NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANY MORE: DEADPOOL

If Deadpool’s record breaking weekend box office reports are any indication, this low budget, vaguely subversive Marvel adaptation (in many respects a belated apology for 2009’s woeful Wolverine: Origins experiment with the character), is pretty much critic-proof as of this writing.

UTTERLY WRETCHED: DIRTY GRANDPA

You really wouldn’t wish sleep paralysis on anyone.

It’s legitimately one of the most terrifying things you can endure horizontal: the utter helplessness, the airless screams in the pre-dawn haze, a sensation akin to agonisingly sinking into a murky lake, limbs numb and incapable of forestalling an inevitable, suffocating demise.

THE DEAD WEATHER - DODGE AND BURN

So, then, to the third full release from alt-rawk supergroup The Dead Weather.

Five years since sophomore effort Sea of Cowards comes Dodge and Burn(welcome, Photoshop fiends!), the third in what could be characterised as a trilogy of thematically and musically complementary offerings.

THE DEATH OF SUPERMAN LIVES - WHAT HAPPENED?

…and, what if it had actually been good?

Cannily timed to arrive amidst the baroque sound and fury of San Diego Comic-Con, (and, more specifically, the sturm und drang of the second trailer for 2016’s Zack Snyder stupid-bomb Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice), director Jon Schnepp (The ABCs of Death) delivers this Kickstarted investigation of Tim Burton’s legendarily derided late ’90s man of steel reboot, Superman Lives*.

IN VIN WE TRUST - THE LAST WITCH HUNTER

Once upon a time there was a super-intense and edgy barbarian Witch Hunter called Kaulder (Vin Diesel).

Kaulder had a sweet viking beard, a peculiar granite intensity, a rad flaming sword called Witchslayer, and his THAC0 was totally bitchin’, too. He didn’t have any gnarly Celtic tatts or blue facepaint though — that would’ve probably been pushing it a bit too far.