All tagged satire

PATRONS ONLY - BEHIND THE SCENES AT THE ALP POLICY RETREAT

ALP post-election policy meet up, Ablo’s man-cave, Marrickville.

The scene: it’s your standard wood laminate lined back shed situation. 

Old Picture Magazine, Australasian Post and CarToons pin ups festoon the walls. There’s an old foamcore Red Eye Records sign hung over the bar, which is stocked exclusively with Tooheys New. Ablo’s wheels of steel are dormant on the bar, mixing headphones perched on top of some truly egregious BOSE woofers.

Joel Fitzgibbons (absent) has positioned a cardboard standee of Acca Dacca’s Angus Young with his dacks down on top of one of the Razorback pinnies next to the Happy Hour Tiki Bar.

INTO FASHION

Why are vampires such ponces?

This is what vexes Jack Crow.

Alpha bastard protagonist of the unremittingly awful John Carpenter’s Vampires, Jack is an disturbingly ardent commentator when it comes to the vampire rag trade.

Yep, when he’s not sucker punching the ladies or swapping smouldering homoerotic glares with the sweatiest Baldwin (Daniel), Jack, Vatican Vampire Slayer and Misogynist Extraordinaire, plays second rate (if there could feasibly be such a thing) Kyle Sandilands to a procession of disturbingly attired plasma quaffers.