The Lunatic's Manifesto – inspiration mixtape for Soda and Telepaths by Garth Jones

(This mixtape was curated for the now-defunct Soda and Telepaths in mid-2022).

When the proprietor of this website proposed that I produce a list of fifteen creatively inspirational tracks, I knew he’d underestimated my dedication to anal-retentively curated mixtapery.

Fifteen tracks? Pfffft.

How’s about thirty-six painstakingly sequenced bangers, compiled as a double album recorded on two C-60 cassettes? Let’s really get fucken wild, crank it all up to double hockey-sticks and explore the outer suburbs of balls-to-the-wall extravagance?
I’m pleased then, to present to you the following rock and roll odyssey in four sides.
Let’s call it The Lunatic’s Manifesto (Volume One).

Pour yourself something with the bouquet of cheap paint thinner, have a drag on some biz that’d potentially blind you and smash that play button.

SIDE A

01/ Brendon Smalls’ Galaktikon – Arena War of the Immortal Masters / This one’s off the debut concept album from the bloke behind Metalocalypse, the first of two Brendons on this tape. What are the odds? I’m firmly of the belief that this album should be deployed alongside an epic Jack Kirby style battle between cosmic titans, and that’s exactly what it inspired in my upcoming series of novellas, Home Brewed, Vampire Bullets.

02/ Buffalo - Kings Cross Ladies / I did you a favour and linked you to the live version, not the maxed-out trigger warning album version (that cover, yikes). This is Australian proto-metal from the extremely dodgy end of town, circa 1974. I love the sleaze, I love that it’s Aussies putting their spin on the genre and I love that you’d be cancelled for life if you did half the shit these lads pulled back in the day.

03/ Rose Tattoo- We Can’t Be Beaten / Angry Anderson: appalling politics, fucking great, rabble-rousing anthems for the mean streets of late ‘70s Sydney. You wouldn’t have the Gunners without the Tatts, and I suspect Angry, Pete and the lads would have kicked Axl and the lads’ arses up and down King Street without batting a tear-drop tatted eyelid. 

04/ Blood Sweat and Tears - Go Down Gamblin’ / Encountered this one at the end of Preacher, season one – still on the fence about that show – and it immediately ear-wormed itself and became a bit of a personal theme song for 2016. Here’s a piece I wrote about it. Scrappy paeans to being a self-sabotaging wastrel? Fits the bill, for sure.

05/ Spiders - Like A Wild Child / Cutting a direct line from Suzi Quatro via The Runaways and ABBA, these guys are the foot-tapping Scandy throwback rockers you’re looking for. Having had a life-long fascination with leather catsuits and extremely formidable female lead singers, this one ticks all the boxes. What’s not to be inspired by?

06/ Sir Lord Baltimore - Lady of Fire / This one’s a heady gonzo speedball, a musical version of my kitchen approach to, well, pretty much anything.   

07/ The Groundhogs - Cherry Red / The gateway drug to these guys was a cover of another one of their songs on an early Desert Sessions album. I simply  just find burnt out old (young at the time) blues rockers a barrel load of fun to write about. Also: corker of a tune. More people need to know about it – you’re welcome!.

08/ Van Halen - The Full Bug / You want swagger in spades? Holy shit, did Diamond Dave have a sock-jammed-down-the-strides proposition for you. This live version, parping blues harp solo and all, set me on an early path of pursuing completely over the top rock and roll ridiculousness in all its forms. Speaking of:

09/ Judas Priest - Heading Out To The Highway / You would not believe how this one landed for a sheltered, desert-bred lad who’d just bought his first double-CD Best-Of collection in the mid-nineties. Fuck! We did lots of heading out on various highways! Probably with a bit to lose, but sure. This was fist-pumping gear about hitting the road and chasing those dreams – a perfectly timed discovery for a kid whose vast geographic horizons felt like a cell.

SIDE B

01/ Ghost - Absolution / Was working for a relatively right-on religious organisation when this came out, so it was deeply satisfying to give the old Beelzebub-baiting gear a solid nudge on the headphones. Ghost’s commitment to absurdity, theatricality and narrative were a Revelation (let’s lean into the Biblical eh?) – they forsook earnestness for  camp, canny pastiche, which was just the injection of virtuosic bluster I’d been after.

02/ King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard - Perihelion / What’s more terrifying than the Climate Crisis? Not fucken much. The embarrassingly prolific King Gizzard delivered Infest The Rats’ Nest in 2019, envisaging a world ravaged by the dual horrors of pandemic and heating while the upper tiers of humanity cash out and fuck off to Mars. Three years later and yep, that’s not exactly a wild concept to contend with. We dig art that rubs your nose in it.

03/ Death - Keep On Knocking / These African-American dudes wrote a classic proto-punk album in their late teens, full of belters, and it was finally discovered and hit thanks to a fairly revered doco forty-odd years later. Good shit, right? Makes you feel alright.

04/ Rocket Science - Burn In Hell / Disclaimer: I have occupied the Green Room at several insalubrious venues with these gentlemen. No similarity between events in my fiction and actual life  events should be inferred. Much.

05/ Aerosmith - Rats In The Cellar / More sleaze done right, a lifetime infatuation borne of a threadbare Rage video I made in Year Seven. This one’s palpably dangerous, like the band themselves were in the late ‘70s. There’s definitely a connection between Tyler’s scat and the rat-a-tat-tat of my prose.

06/ Tomahawk - Laredo / This is some parched black comedy in the key of Patton post-Faith No More. Gun-slingin’ cinematic black comedy, no bridges left to burn? That’s my genre. Mongrel punk.

07/ Kadavar - Lord of the Sky / These bell-bottomed, Berlin-bred chaps perfectly nail the drug-fucked bonhomie of… well, that would be telling. We all wish we were a Lord of the Sky, right?

08/ Corrosion of Conformity - Long Whip/ Big America / Politics-grappling via the medium of tunes? This was a new one to unlock in those innocent, pre-tertiary times. Marrying the idea to sketchy prose and blow-out benders? Just might have legs.

09/ Clutch - The Face / Just bury your face between two Marshall stacks and get on down. Do what comes naturally. This is the sound of Home Brewed, Vampire Bullets.

SIDE C

01/ Motörhead  - Get Back In Line /  Lemmy, my only actual hero, gives you a(nother) bile-flecked workout in class politics, and an all-time bass breakdown to boot. Could we Deep Fake BoJo into the shot where Lem lands an unconvincing shot to the jowls on a Tory toff? Lemmy was an elevated master, a man for our times and sorely missed.

02/ Monster Magnet - Third Eye Landslide / Dave Wyndorf, man. A lysergic prince on the downhill run to seventy and still kicking out the proverbials with reliably savage garage intent. What’s more bloody inspiring than that? Squeegee your third eye regularly, I say.

03/ Zodiac Mindwarp - President of the United States of Love / Zodiac was (is?) the glam-stomp sleaze rock brain child of scabby Pommy Renaissance bloke Mark Manning. When he wasn’t penning heightened gonzo travelogues with the KLF’s Bill Drummond, Manning was dropping some filthy-culty bizarro fic, chief amongst which is my beloved Get Your Cock Out! (signed), which, now I give it a ponder, may have initially set the Home Brewed ball rolling.

04/ Transvision Vamp - Baby I Don’t Care / If you didn’t have the TV Hits poster (let’s be honest: centrefold) of Wendy James stashed somewhere “private”, you just won’t get it. What a time to have been alive and in possession of your own personal telly to watch your Rage tapes on.

05/ Wagons - Drive All Night ‘Til Dawn / More driving tunage, the life blood of the regional Aussie. Home Brewed is, at its core, an unhinged road trip exploring the surreal inner reaches of Straya, with which I’m exceedingly intimate. That sounds worse than it probably should have. Did you know I’ve got some muso mates working on a soundtrack for the book? 

06/ Mark Lanegan - Driving Death Valley Blues / Back to back driving songs, why not? When the late Lano went, he bloody well went. This one came out the first year I share-housed in Collingwood, Melbourne, where we’d wave to the smackhead who slept on our porch chaise-lounge as we headed out each morning. Some of the very best years.

07/ Brendon Benson - Half a Boy (Half a Man) / Here’s the second Brendon in the list, with a tune that I discovered near the onset of the pandemic, when ascended man-child mindset kicked in and day drinking was very much in perpetual fashion. Check the lyrics, this one’s your humble correspondent’s bio in rudely concise form. 

08/ LA Guns - Never Enough / Weirdly, this was the band that first taught me that dressing like a pirate was absolutely okay. My initial pseudo-goth uncles (remember, we were sheltered out there), visions of nail polish and Black No. 1 hair dye shimmied, thwarted by the fact that that sort of business would have earned you a sound hiding. 

09/ Type O Negative - Pyretta Blaze / Meet my actual goth uncles. Melody, carnality, dark-as-pitch wit and raven haired sirens eternal? I got the dye job and a small selection of Price Attack varnishes immediately. Never looked back.


SIDE D

01/ Howlin’ Rain - Dancers At The End of Time / Big cosmic themes, big psych-rock energy. Band leader Ethan Miller hailed from Comets On Fire, whose burnt-out jams were regular precursors to all sorts of mad 3066 hijinks. If I was to chose a pro-wrestling entrance theme, this would 110% be on the shortlist. 

02/ Curtis Knight - Silver Queen / Speaking of Miller, there’s this mixtape he compiled in 2010 that featured a few of the acts on this list, including Curtis Knight, one-time Hendrix lead singer. It’s still up and it’s still downloadable. Thanks Kim Dot Com. Which is to say, the Knight track featured within, ‘Lena’, lead me to the man’s “with Zeus” album (also featuring Eddie Clarke, later Motörhead’s original ax-slinger, swings and roundabouts), and here we are. Never stop digging. 

03/ Gold - Love, The Magician / There’s this band in Home Brewed, see, and they have incredible feminine energy. Watch this space.

04/ The Angels - Dogs Are Talking / This one’s probably another cancellable offence, but fucken hell they don’t make Oz rock like The Angels any more, do they? Especially with baldy guitarists anticipating Joe Satriani’s later years and willing to do that wiggly-shimmy deal while doing a shred.  

05/ The Dead Weather - Treat Me Like Your Mother / Cross reference with Gold, above.

06/ Purson - Leaning On A Bear / And this. 

07/ Masters of Reality - Domino / It turned out that the mastermind of this lot, Chris Goss, is the spiritual godfather (and producer) of vast swathes of my very favourite acts (many on this playlist, see below for starters). Which means his influence is unparallelled. He’s from the desert. Makes sense.

08/ Queens of the Stone Age - My God Is The Sun / There was this New Year’s morning, right, maybe fifteen years ago, where I sat on a mountain, off my gourd, dry chain lightning in panorama. Eventually the sun came up and everything clicked. Yep.

09/ Church of the Cosmic Skull - Into The Skull /  Still with me? Cool. Literally discovered these guys last week, and could not be more enthralled by their whole occult theatre troupe situation. It’s the Polyphonic Spree via Andrew Lloyd Weber (and a few of the naughtier bands up-list) with Nikes on, a winky throwback act leaning into all the best doom metal tropes with happy clappy verve. I love them.

Welp, there you go, then. Hopefully you discovered a few new faves, maybe you even learned a thing or two.

Weirder things have happened.

Thanks for reading.

Slainte!

Cheapa skips: out now! by Garth Jones

CHEAPA SKIPS - THE FEEL BAD SESSIONS, '20/21 is a collection of shorts written during, but not necessarily about, the pandemic.

It’s chockers with environmental angst, WASPy beach town cannibalism cults, brain machine interfaces, seedy small town crims, gnarly bush justice and much much more.

⚡️Get it in print
⚡️Get it digitally
⚡️Review it

PRAISE:

“Spike, snort, huff and toke on twelve grams of the sordid, the jaded, the gonzo and the profane. Cheapa Skips is a hit of the pure stuff - balls deep and punk AF, Australian sleaze right in the mainline”
- J. Ashley-Smith, Shirley Jackson Award-winning author of Ariadne, I Love You and The Attic Tragedy

“Garth’s writing is like Bret Easton Ellis, Nikki Sixx and David Lee Roth had a literary baby” - Sebastian Vice, Outcast Press

"An exhilarating ride that oozes the true underbelly of Australia our mainstream media ignores"- Justin Hamilton, Big Squid

“12-Fuck Faced pieces of Totally Irresponsible Prose covering Women to Daddy to Music to Life. And I'm here for it” - Duvay Knox, The Pussy Detective

“A back stage pass to the after party of the post-apocalypse” - Whiskey Leavins, The Devil’s Own Piss

THE DREGS OF THE ROCKET FUEL HUSTLE @ PUNK NOIR by Garth Jones

Privilege is the ability to carry on thinking the world is just, to be immune to its cruelty by virtue of your station.

I realised that a lot later.

What a wanker, eh?

It was ten AM and fifteen seconds or so.

The Centurion’s Elbow, Lord Street. Heavily gentrified but still vaguely hip inner suburban Thrivesville.

Sometime in February.

“Just don’t do it,” I said, tapping nine bucks, total, for a house sauv and Diet Coke.

I put the drink, the soft one, down in front of them, and settled my perch.

“Kill yourself, I mean.”

Read the lot here.

Preacher: Episode 1 by Garth Jones

Well, shit. 

Here’s the precis: Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg and Sam Catlin’s Preacher adap is a rip-roaring, punk rock salvo, a bloody white-knuckle hell-ride, true to the outlaw spirit of the source whilst taking flagrant liberties and coming off shining.

Dare I say it, the potential is there to even elevate the material.

As you’d be well aware, AMC’s Preacher is based on Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon’s iconic ‘90s Vertigo book. Profane and gleefully juvenile, the book nonetheless wrestled with weighty themes: crises of faith, toxic masculinity and the scabrous myths of the American Frontier all of particular concern. The book could veer from heartfelt romance to scatological trauma and then careen into heart-rending scenes of grue-soaked ultraviolence- little wonder stoner auteurs Rogen and Goldberg were so passionately into it.

Which is not to say Preacher (the book) is a sacred text: having re-read the series for the umpteenth time recently, it’s fair to say the text has aged unevenly, with vast stretches of threadbare dead plot air and awkwardly dated politics in places. 

Still, more often than not it’s a wildly entertaining oddity, an Irishman and an Englishman’s meditation on a mythical America stitched together from a patchwork of film, television, comics and literary references. As such, the book offers solid bed-rock on which to build a contemporary, tele-episodic evisceration of “‘Murkah” and all its foibles.

The plot, as if it bears repeating? Texan Preacher Jesse Custer (Dominic Cooper) is imbued with the Genesis force (the heavenly offspring of some molten angel-demon how’s-yer-father) and hits the road with ex-girlfriend Tulip (Ruth Negga) and Irish vampire Cassidy (Joe Gilgun) to hunt down an absentee Heavenly Father for an overdue explanation as to why he’s abandoned creation.

If you’re new to Preacher, it’d be remiss of me to spoil the gonzo lunacy our core trio encounter on their quest- suffice to say, Sex Detectives, poncey Anne Rice vampires and a corpulent shadow-Pope are just the tip of the proverbial.

Sure, the cast might not have been anyone’s first choices* to play Ennis’ indelible characters (well, Gilgun, perhaps), but, as the first episode concludes, you’ll struggle to imagine any other players in the key roles.

It’s vicious, it’s blasphemous, it’s puerile yet nonetheless thoughtful, hilarious and loaded with nuance. Strap yourself right the fuck in, amigos- Preacher’s here to tear you a new one every Sabbath-eve (you know what I mean, Antipodeans).

* I used to make the impassioned call that the cast of Deadwood should just have been transplanted wholesale. Wait, did I hear somebody say ‘nerd’?


Power trippin’ at 22 by Garth Jones

The ‘90s were an arid decade for sternum crushing, crank fuelled, just the facts (and the occasional epic stoned interlude ma’am) rock and fucken roll.

We flirted with the programmed, post NIN nerdcore of Fear Factory, plumbed the horny down-tuned incel confusion of KOЯN and exalted in the chugging misery of Soundgarden and their ilk, but shameless, drug chuggin’, shaggin’ and skull flayin’ guitar music had become a niche concern.

Enter one Dave Wyndorf, a New Jerseyite who’d spent the ‘80s in an act called Shrapnel, and who founded the doom and psych inspired Monster Magnet practically in his rock ‘n roll dotage, ie his mid thirties.

Monster Mags honed their sound over a couple of sludge-fuzzy EPs and albums before striking MTV gold - that used to happen - with the tripping balls party starter ‘Negasonic Teenage Warhead’ (now also an infuriating X-Men character), from third album Dopes to Infinity.

Check out that clip - someone made a lot of money with a ropey green screen and an asteroid set back in the mid ‘90s.

I was 21 when the follow up, Powertrip, dropped in 1998 - though I didn’t really get across it until it turned into the score for Friday night fire up sessions in dad’s back shed a year later - which makes me, well, you do the math.

Powertrip is a seminal, wall to wall classic - a relentless slab of sleazy-beefy, horny-high af riffage. This was cocky, leathered up, cosmic stuff with tongue jammed firmly in cheek, the likes of which I’d not yet encountered (Zodiac Mindwarp came later).

Wyndorf was 42 when it arrived, which is quite neat, in a useless and quickly discarded framing device sort of way. 

I couldn’t believe how fucking old he was.

Now it sounds like a relatively wise age to start writing about what you know for sure without fear of embarrassment, anyway.

(Opinion sure to be revised in -)

Wyndorf is sixty three now, for the non mathematicians amongst you, and still out there bringing down the thunder.

Saw them a few years back, but, uh, don’t really remember much.

Good night, I assume.